posted 03-16-2017 02:42 PM                  

quote:

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Originally posted by Landscape Doctor:
Just informed 1 bag made it to JFK and one is in Philly. The day keeps getting better. WTF

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My old bag moved to Florida.

posted 03-16-2017 02:56 PM                  

quote:

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Originally posted by padroo:
My old bag moved to Florida.

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posted 03-17-2017 11:50 AM                  

.
.

"TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN; YET THE YOUNGEST YOU'LL EVER BE, SO ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS

Do Not Regret Growing Older.

posted 03-17-2017 12:42 PM                  

So True Larry about comments below your pic.

My wife and I have been to every Island in the Caribean, most more than once. Have not regretted any of it. You only live once and never know what tomorrow may bring. We work very hard to be able to enjoy ourselves on OUR DIME, no one elses.

We never had our own kids but always seem to bring some with us.

posted 03-18-2017 07:02 AM                  

What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Two pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives On December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier.

NICKNAMES

- If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

- If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.

EATING OUT

- When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

- When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

- A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

- A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS

- A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

- The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

- A woman has the last word in any argument.

- Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

- A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

- A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE

- A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

- A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

- A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

- A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

- Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

- Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

- ** , children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

- A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

posted 03-21-2017 10:29 AM                  

Tom was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the

family business.

He knew that he would inherit a fortune once his sickly father died.

Tom wanted two things:

To learn how to invest his inheritance

To find a wife to share his fortune.

One evening at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman

he had ever seen.

Her natural beauty took his breath away.

"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, "but in just a few

years, my father will die,

and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."

Impressed, the woman obtained his business card.

Two weeks later, she became his stepmother.

posted 03-24-2017 02:33 PM                  

quote:

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Originally posted by ALLEY CAT:

"TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN; YET THE YOUNGEST YOU'LL EVER BE, SO ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS

Do Not Regret Growing Older.

It is a Privilege Denied to Many."
[/B]

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This is a piggy back to your post Larry. You are always in our thoughts.

THE MAGIC BANK ACCOUNT

THE AUTHOR IS NOT KNOWN. IT WAS FOUND IN THE BILLFOLD OF COACH PAUL
BEAR BRYANT,
ALABAMA, AFTER HE DIED IN 1982

The Magic Bank Account

Imagine that you had won the Following *PRIZE* in a contest:
Each morning your bank would deposit $86,400
In your private account for your use.
However, this prize has Rules:
The set of Rules:

1. Everything that you didn't spend during each day would be taken away
from you.

2. You may not simply transfer money into some other account.

3. You may only spend It.

4. Each morning upon awakening,
The bank opens your account with another $86,400 for that Day.

5. The bank can end the game without warning; at any time, it can say,
Game Over!" It can close the account
And you will not receive a new one.

What would you personally Do?

You would buy anything and Everything you wanted right? Not only for
yourself, but for all the people you love and care for. Even for people
you don't know, because you couldn't possibly spend it all on yourself,
right?

You would try to spend every penny, and use it all, because you knew it
would be replenished in the morning, right?

ACTUALLY, This GAME is REAL
...
Shocked ???
YES!

Each of us is already a winner Of this *PRIZE*.
We just can't seem to see it.

The PRIZE is *TIME*

1. Each morning we awaken to Receive 86,400 seconds
As a gift of Life.

2. And when we go to sleep at Night, any remaining time
is Not credited to us.

3. What we haven't used up that Day is forever lost.

4. Yesterday is forever Gone.

5. Each morning the account is Refilled, but the bank can dissolve your
account at any time WITHOUT WARNING...

SO, what will YOU do with your 86,400 seconds?

Those seconds are worth so much More than the same amount in dollars.
Think about it and remember to Enjoy every second of your life, because
time races by so much quicker than You think.

So take care of yourself, be Happy, love deeply and enjoy life!

Here's wishing you a wonderful And beautiful day.
Start spending....

"DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT GROWING OLD !"