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Author | Topic: Oil change |
Gary C POA Site Supporter Prowler Junkie Personal ScrapBook From:San Diego Area |
posted 10-18-2000 12:33 AM
How Men and Women Change the Oil > -------------------- > Women: > > 1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since > the last oil change. > > 2. Drink a cup of coffee. > > 3. 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly > maintained vehicle. > > Money Spent: > $20.00 Oil Change > $1.00 Coffee > ---------------- > $21.00 Total > > Men: > > 1. Go to auto parts store and write a > check for $50 dollars for oil, filter, kitty litter, hand > cleaner and scented tree. > > 2. Discover that the used oil container > is full. Instead of taking it back to recycle, dump in hole > in back yard. > > 3. Open a beer and drink it. > > 4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking > for jack stands. > > 5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car. > > 6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it. > > 7. Place drain pan under engine. > > 8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench. > > 9. Give up and use crescent wrench. > > 10. Unscrew drain plug. > > 11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in > process. > > 12. Clean up. > > 13. Have another beer while oil is draining. > > 14. Look for oil filter wrench. > > 15. Give up; poke oil filter with screwdriver and twist it > off. > > 16. Beer. > > 17. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Finish oil change > tomorrow. > > 18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath > car. > > 19. Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18. > > 20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday. > > 21. Walk to 7-11; buy beer. > > 22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of > clean oil to gasket first. > > 23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine. > > 24. Remember drain plug from step 11. > > 25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan. > > 26. Hurry to replace drain plug before the whole quart of > fresh oil drains onto floor. > > 27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame. > > 28. Bang head on floor board in reaction. > > 29. Begin cussing fit. > > 30. Throw wrench. > > 31. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss > December (1992) in the left breast. > > 32. Clean up. Apply Band-Aid to knuckle. > > 33. Beer. > > 34. Beer. > > 35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil. > > 36. Beer. > > 37. Lower car from jack stands > > 38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands > > 39. Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil > spilled during step 23. > > 40. Test drive car > > 41. Get pulled over; arrested for driving under the > influence. > > 42. Car gets impounded. > > 43. Make bail. Get car from impound yard. > > Money Spent: > $50 parts > $12 beer > $75 replacement set of jack stands; hey the colors have to > match! > $1000 Bail > $200 Impound and towing fee > --------------------------- > $1337 Total Someone emailed me this, DSTM. ------------------ |
NightProwler Prowler Junkie From:Chicago |
posted 10-18-2000 08:57 AM
GaryC, M. Krehel wrote that about 6 months ago. |
CJ POA Lifetime Site Supporter Prowler Junkie Personal ScrapBook From:Rochester Hills, MI USA |
posted 10-18-2000 10:54 AM
Men are smarter? LOL |
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