posted 05-16-2008 01:12 PM                  

The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur-bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You'll have a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year."

The guy says, "You're BSing me!"

posted 05-16-2008 02:43 PM                  

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work

on scaffolding on the 20 th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, 'Corned beef and

cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch,

I'm going to jump off this building.'

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, 'Burritos again! If I get Burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too.'

The blonde opened his lunch and said, ' Bologna again! If I get a bologna

sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too.'

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a Burrito, and jumped, too.

The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his

death as well.

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping.She said, 'If I'd

known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never

would have given it to him again!'

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, 'I could have given him tacos

or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated Burritos so much.'

(Oh this is GOOD!!)?

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife

said,