posted 10-30-2006 02:22 PM                  

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing
vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut
yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic!
Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of
laxatives, after which you'll be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a
hammer and you will forget all about that toothache.

8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules
of life really are: You only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

posted 10-30-2006 02:41 PM                  

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