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Prowler Junkie
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From:San Diego Area
Registered: Jul 2000
Admin Use

posted 10-18-2000 12:33 AM                  

---

How Men and Women Change the Oil
> --------------------
> Women:
>
> 1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since
> the last oil change.
>
> 2. Drink a cup of coffee.
>
> 3. 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly
> maintained vehicle.
>
> Money Spent:
> $20.00 Oil Change
> $1.00 Coffee
> ----------------
> $21.00 Total
>
> Men:
>
> 1. Go to auto parts store and write a
> check for $50 dollars for oil, filter, kitty litter, hand
> cleaner and scented tree.
>
> 2. Discover that the used oil container
> is full. Instead of taking it back to recycle, dump in hole
> in back yard.
>
> 3. Open a beer and drink it.
>
> 4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking
> for jack stands.
>
> 5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
>
> 6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
>
> 7. Place drain pan under engine.
>
> 8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
>
> 9. Give up and use crescent wrench.
>
> 10. Unscrew drain plug.
>
> 11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in
> process.
>
> 12. Clean up.
>
> 13. Have another beer while oil is draining.
>
> 14. Look for oil filter wrench.
>
> 15. Give up; poke oil filter with screwdriver and twist it
> off.
>
> 16. Beer.
>
> 17. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Finish oil change
> tomorrow.
>
> 18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath
> car.
>
> 19. Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
>
> 20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
>
> 21. Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
>
> 22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of
> clean oil to gasket first.
>
> 23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
>
> 24. Remember drain plug from step 11.
>
> 25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
>
> 26. Hurry to replace drain plug before the whole quart of
> fresh oil drains onto floor.
>
> 27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.
>
> 28. Bang head on floor board in reaction.
>
> 29. Begin cussing fit.
>
> 30. Throw wrench.
>
> 31. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss
> December (1992) in the left breast.
>
> 32. Clean up. Apply Band-Aid to knuckle.
>
> 33. Beer.
>
> 34. Beer.
>
> 35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.
>
> 36. Beer.
>
> 37. Lower car from jack stands
>
> 38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands
>
> 39. Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil
> spilled during step 23.
>
> 40. Test drive car
>
> 41. Get pulled over; arrested for driving under the
> influence.
>
> 42. Car gets impounded.
>
> 43. Make bail. Get car from impound yard.
>
> Money Spent:
> $50 parts
> $12 beer
> $75 replacement set of jack stands; hey the colors have to
> match!
> $1000 Bail
> $200 Impound and towing fee
> ---------------------------
> $1337 Total

Someone emailed me this, DSTM.

------------------
ALL by CARLINI
Billet Grill, Rear Roll Pan, Front Turn Signals, Chrome Head Rest Covers,
Custom Borla Exhaust Valentine One Radar Detector
Cruised Woodward 2000
2000

From:Chicago
Registered: Oct 2000
Admin Use

POA Lifetime Site Supporter
Prowler Junkie
Personal ScrapBook

From:Rochester Hills, MI USA
Registered: Jul 2000
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