posted 07-05-2000 07:12 PM                  

The Difference
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Women have their faults. Men have only two. Everything they say.
Everything they do.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful women is one who can find such a man.

A woman always has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says
after that is the beginning of a new argument.

The Style
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Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow
deteriorate during the night.

When women are depresssed, they either eat or go shopping. Men invade
another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.

A man is a person who will pay two dollars for a one-dollar item he
wants. A woman will pay one dollar for a two-dollar item that she
doesn't want.

The Workplace
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When a man gives his opinion, he's a man. When a woman gives her opinions, she's a bitch.

Relationships
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Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Dogs are a man's best friend. Now you know which sex is smarter.

It's not true that men prefer foolish women. Rather they prefer women who can simulate foolishness whenever necessary, which is the very core of intelligence.

Sex
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When a man falls in love, he wants to go to bed. When a woman falls in love, she wants to talk about it.

Love
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Men always want to be a woman's first love. Women have a more subtle instinct. What they like is to be a man's last romance.

The only way to understand a woman is to love her - and then it isn't necessary to understand her.

To women, love is an occupation. To men, a preoccupation.

A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks. A woman loses hers after four kisses.

Happiness
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Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way. The other is to let her have her own way.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not
try to understand her at all.

Marriage
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Any married man should forget his mistakes - no use two people remembering the same thing.

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

Men marry because they are tired; woman because they are curious.
Both are disappointed.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her. A man will always cherish the memory of the woman who didn't.

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.