posted 09-14-2004 04:44 PM         

"It's a male thing."............"There's absolutely no pattern to this and there's no way you'll ever understand it logically."

"Can I help with dinner?".......... "Why isn't it on the table already?"

"Sure", "of course, honey" or "yes, honey"............. Absolutely nothing. It is a reflex comment.

"It would take too long to explain."........ "I don't have a clue how this works."

"I've been exercising lately."........... "The remote is out of batteries."

"We'll be late!"........... "Great, now I have a reason to drive like a maniac!"

"Relax, honey; you work too hard."........... "I can't hear the match if you're vacuuming."

"Interesting."........... "You're still talking?"

"Honey, we don't need things to express our
love for each other.".............. "I forgot our anniversary again."

"You expect too much from me."......... "You expect me to stay awake."

"That's a woman's job."............ "That's a diffcult, dirty and thankless job."

"You know how bad my memory is."............... "I remember the theme from The Platoon, the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the plate numbers of ever car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"Calm down; it's just a scratch!"........... "I've almost cut off an essential part of my body, but I'd rather bleed to death than admit that it hurts!

"I do help with the housework."......... "I put a dirty towel in the laundry last year."

"I have my reasons for doing it this way."..........."I really hope I'll figure this out soon."

"I couldn't find it."............ "It didn't fall from the sky into my outstretched hands."

"Now what did I do?"........... "Now what did you catch me doing?"

"You look great!"............ "Please stop trying clothes on. I'm hungry!"

"I've missed you!".......... "I can't find my socks, the kids are hungry and we're out of toilet paper."

"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."..... "I'm completely lost. I have no idea where we are, and nobody will ever see us alive again!"

"We share the housework.".......... "I make a mess, she cleans it up."

quote:

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"Calm down; it's just a scratch!"........... "I've almost cut off an essential part of my body, but I'd rather bleed to death than admit that it hurts!

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