posted 09-14-2004 09:17 AM         

Vocabulary

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish.............................................49
Adventurous.......................Slept with everyone
Athletic......................................No tits
Average looking..................................Ugly
Beautiful...........................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure......................On medication
Feminist..........................................Fat
Free spirit....................................Junkie
Friendship first..........................Former slut
Fun..........................................Annoying
New-Age.................Body hair in the wrong places
Old-fashioned...............................No B.J.'s
Open-minded.................................Desperate
Outgoing........................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate...............................Sloppy drunk
Professional....................................Bitch
Voluptuous...................................Very Fat
Large frame................................Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate...............................Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want.
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think
about?

MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

* * * *
The secret of walking on water is knowing where the stones are...

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Current mods: Mopar dual exhaust & front mudflaps; MacMotorsports Air Intake;
Real Rod Air Patrol; Graphics by Balistek Designs; ($8) Chrome grille; Chrome
tire valve-stem covers; Painted rear bumper lettering; Prowler Pro Gears; Synthetic
Oil; Raybestos Ceramic Brake Pads; TGF Door Panel Inserts & Headrest Covers;
SheepskinExpress Sheepskin Seatcovers; Grille Light; Pinstriping by Bo Boring;
Painted Valve Cover; Window Tinting; Windshield Visor Banner; Front Bumper
Removal / Relocation of Front Turn Signal Lights; Real Rod Transmission Cooler
Cover, Sill and Carpet Covers, Aero Front Covers and Roadster Rear Pan, rear
bumpers removed; rear mudflaps; painted calipers; Prowler Products by Gary
Drilled Rotors, front and rear; Painted tach; Jay's Aluminum Billet Center Caps
w/shimmers, Chrome Lugnuts and Chrome Radio Bezel Shimmer; Dash Rings;
Windshield Wiper Arm Removal; Fender Trim; Speaker Replacement; Painted
Plenum; Painted Radiator Crossmember; Painted Rear Mudflaps; Air Patrol
graphics; Aluminum engine compartment support bars; PlasmaGlow 7-color LED
Underbody Kit; Dash Designs Dash Mat; Airbrushed Rear Trim Panel and Painted
Headlight Caps.

More 'Pumpkin' photos . . . . . More cars and other stuff

New pictures in Personal Scrapbook (02/23/03)

"I may have to grow older, but I do not have to grow up!"