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This topic is 3 pages long:   1  2  3 
This topic was originally posted in this forum: Tires, Rims Discusssion
Author Topic:   Zen Sarcasm
ALLEY CAT
Prowler Junkie

Posts: 36093
From: Mesa, Az
Registered: JUL 2000

posted 09-13-2004 04:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ALLEY CAT     
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire sensor on your cat.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced,! ! you can't be promoted.

6. No one is listening until you fart.

7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Bro. LP,,,lol.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

15. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

24. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

25. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our as$...Then things get worse.

26. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

27. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

28. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

29. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday ... about around age 11.

30. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.


TFischer
Prowler Junkie

Posts: 4913
From: Texas, USA
Registered: MAR 2002

posted 09-13-2004 05:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for TFischer     
AC - those are great!! Thanks for the chuckle this afternoon! T


TFischer
Prowler Junkie

Posts: 4913
From: Texas, USA
Registered: MAR 2002

posted 09-13-2004 05:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for TFischer     
ooops

This message has been edited by TFischer on 09-13-2004 at 05:02 PM

tangled up in BLUE
Prowler Junkie

Posts: 11086
From: New Castle, Ind
Registered: DEC 2000

posted 09-13-2004 05:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for tangled up in BLUE     
#15 and #26 are my favorites......


pumpkin
Prowler Junkie

Posts: 7907
From: Las Cruces, NM, USA
Registered: DEC 2001

posted 09-13-2004 05:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pumpkin     
#4, 6, 12

------------------

Current mods: Mopar dual exhaust & front mudflaps; MacMotorsports Air Intake;
Real Rod Air Patrol; Graphics by Balistek Designs; ($8) Chrome grille; Chrome
tire valve-stem covers; Painted rear bumper lettering; Prowler Pro Gears; Synthetic
Oil; Raybestos Ceramic Brake Pads; TGF Door Panel Inserts & Headrest Covers;
SheepskinExpress Sheepskin Seatcovers; Grille Light; Pinstriping by Bo Boring;
Painted Valve Cover; Window Tinting; Windshield Visor Banner; Front Bumper
Removal / Relocation of Front Turn Signal Lights; Real Rod Transmission Cooler
Cover, Sill and Carpet Covers, Aero Front Covers and Roadster Rear Pan, rear
bumpers removed; rear mudflaps; painted calipers; Prowler Products by Gary
Drilled Rotors, front and rear; Painted tach; Jay's Aluminum Billet Center Caps
w/shimmers, Chrome Lugnuts and Chrome Radio Bezel Shimmer; Dash Rings;
Windshield Wiper Arm Removal; Fender Trim; Speaker Replacement; Painted
Plenum; Painted Radiator Crossmember; Painted Rear Mudflaps; Air Patrol
graphics; Aluminum engine compartment support bars; PlasmaGlow 7-color LED
Underbody Kit; Dash Designs Dash Mat; Airbrushed Rear Trim Panel and Painted
Headlight Caps.

More 'Pumpkin' photos . . . . . More cars and other stuff

New pictures in Personal Scrapbook (02/23/03)

"I may have to grow older, but I do not have to grow up!"

"The Prowler is not a car to go from Point A to Point B. The Prowler is the Point!"

Orange
unregistered

Posts: 7907
From: Las Cruces, NM, USA
Registered: DEC 2001

posted 09-13-2004 05:51 PM           


Dave Mills
Prowler Junkie

Posts: 5419
From: Johnstown, PA, USA
Registered: JUL 2000

posted 09-13-2004 07:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dave Mills     
I wish more people would pay attention to number 29, especially in Texas!


ALLEY CAT
Prowler Junkie

Posts: 36093
From: Mesa, Az
Registered: JUL 2000

posted 09-13-2004 09:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ALLEY CAT     
quote:
Originally posted by Dave Mills:
I wish more people would pay attention to number 29, especially in Texas!

Dave - think I'll edit that one back out of the list,,,,we enjoy celebrating you having many more birthday parties!!!



TFischer
Prowler Junkie

Posts: 4913
From: Texas, USA
Registered: MAR 2002

posted 09-13-2004 09:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for TFischer     
quote:
Originally posted by Dave Mills:
I wish more people would pay attention to number 29, especially in Texas!

Dave: I'm sorry, we haven't mentioned it lately - HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIG GUY!!!! Tami

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