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Off Topic Zen Sarcasm (Page 3) UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone!
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This topic is 3 pages long: 1 2 3 This topic was originally posted in this forum: Tires, Rims Discusssion |
Author | Topic: Zen Sarcasm |
ALLEY CAT Prowler Junkie Posts: 36093 |
posted 09-13-2004 04:57 PM
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone. 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire sensor on your cat. 3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. 4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any. 5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced,! ! you can't be promoted. 6. No one is listening until you fart. 7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else. 8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. 10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes. 11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Bro. LP,,,lol. 12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. 14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. 15. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield. 16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time. 17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. 18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. 19. A closed mouth gathers no foot. 20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together. 21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. 22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving. 23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 24. Never miss a good chance to shut up. 25. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our as$...Then things get worse. 26. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 27. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." 28. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. 29. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday ... about around age 11. 30. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. |
TFischer Prowler Junkie Posts: 4913 |
posted 09-13-2004 05:02 PM
AC - those are great!! Thanks for the chuckle this afternoon! T |
TFischer Prowler Junkie Posts: 4913 |
posted 09-13-2004 05:02 PM
ooops This message has been edited by TFischer on 09-13-2004 at 05:02 PM |
tangled up in BLUE Prowler Junkie Posts: 11086 |
posted 09-13-2004 05:13 PM
#15 and #26 are my favorites...... |
pumpkin Prowler Junkie Posts: 7907 |
posted 09-13-2004 05:42 PM
#4, 6, 12 ------------------ More 'Pumpkin' photos . . . . . More cars and other stuff New pictures in Personal Scrapbook (02/23/03) "The Prowler is not a car to go from Point A to Point B. The Prowler is the Point!" |
Orange unregistered Posts: 7907 |
posted 09-13-2004 05:51 PM
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Dave Mills Prowler Junkie Posts: 5419 |
posted 09-13-2004 07:25 PM
I wish more people would pay attention to number 29, especially in Texas! |
ALLEY CAT Prowler Junkie Posts: 36093 |
posted 09-13-2004 09:11 PM
quote: Dave - think I'll edit that one back out of the list,,,,we enjoy celebrating you having many more birthday parties!!! |
TFischer Prowler Junkie Posts: 4913 |
posted 09-13-2004 09:31 PM
quote: Dave: I'm sorry, we haven't mentioned it lately - HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIG GUY!!!! Tami |
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