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Author	Topic: cops are funny guys...
halicat unregistered Posts: 4576 From: Alexandria, Virginian USA Registered: OCT 2003	posted 11-29-2005 07:03 AM > So you thought police officers didn't have a sense of humor.... > > The following were taken off of actual police car videos around the > country. > > #15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're > new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile." > > #14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your > birth certificate a worthless document." > > #13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." > > #12 "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In > case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm > bullet fired from my gun." > > #11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I > guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?" > > #10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, > but I don't think it will help. Oh .. did I mention that I am the shift > supervisor?" > > #9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you > not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket." > > #8 "The answer to this last question will determine > whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?" > > #7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a > place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey > **** !." > > #6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my > wife gets a toaster oven." > > #5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC." > > #4 "Just how big were those two beers?" > > #3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to > have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want." > > #2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good > personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your > bail." > > and the best one . . > > #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? > ..... You're right, we don't. ... Sign here
ALLEY CAT Prowler Junkie Posts: 36093 From: Mesa, Az Registered: JUL 2000	posted 11-29-2005 07:23 AM I know for a fact that Ed wrote #6, #7, & #8
meancat Prowler Junkie Posts: 3635 From: MODDERSVILLE, MICHIGAN Registered: AUG 2002	posted 11-29-2005 09:47 AM I almost believe you Alley,However I don't believe Ed can't wright!! ------------------
pumpkin Prowler Junkie Posts: 7907 From: Las Cruces, NM, USA Registered: DEC 2001	posted 11-29-2005 10:03 AM I always miss #8.
agstoner Prowler Junkie Posts: 435 From: Richmond, Virginia Registered: JUN 2004	posted 11-29-2005 10:06 AM Here are a couple more true cop stories. I worked my way through college and grad school as a police officer and here are two of my favorites: John Negri stopped a young man for exhibition driving. He has squealed his tires leaving a signal light. When John approached the kid the kid said "but officer, I'm just trying out this car" to which John responded "what a coincidence, I'm just trying out this pen". And, John again stopped a guy for making a prohibited left turn. When John approached the guy, the guy responded " officer, can you give me a break- I've only been in this town three days" John responded " Really, this is my first day here and I knew I couldn't turn left". John spent a lot of time with the chief. This message has been edited by agstoner on 11-29-2005 at 10:07 AM

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