posted 11-17-2004 01:12 PM         

- I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.
- That's 96 miles each day.
- Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.
- Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.
- There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.
- That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.
- Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars.
- That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.
- Statistically, females drive half of these.
- That's 18,000 women drivers!
- In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.
- That's 642.
- According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding.
- That's 449.
- According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98.
- And 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That's 33.
- According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons, and this number is increasing.
- That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.