posted 09-23-2004 08:51 AM         

In case you have been waiting breathlessly for this year's Darwin Awards,  here they are. The awards this year are, once again, truly classic. These awards are given each year to bestow upon (the remains of) that individual, who through single-minded self-sacrifice, has done the most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool.

First Place Candidate for this years Darwin Awards.

When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did
something that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

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And now, the honorable mentions:

The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cuttin! g machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

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A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

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After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride.

He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, t! elling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bi zarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

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An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

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A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, puts a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? $15.

(If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a crime
commi! tted?)

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A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, "FREEZE,
MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A ****-UP!"  For a moment, everyone was silent. Then the snickers started. The guard completely lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief got him. The embarrassed thief ran away and is still at large. In memory of the event, the banker later put a plaque on the wall
engraved with the words, "Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a ****-up!"

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Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder! block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bou nced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

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As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her.  That's the lady I stole the purse from."

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The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash.  The clerk t! urned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

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Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of
pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home... with the chain still attached to the machine... with their bumper still attached to the chain... with their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper.

They were quickly arrested.

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5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!

When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle! street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake.

The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

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Current mods: Mopar dual exhaust & front mudflaps; MacMotorsports Air Intake;
Real Rod Air Patrol; Graphics by Balistek Designs; ($8) Chrome grille; Chrome
tire valve-stem covers; Painted rear bumper lettering; Prowler Pro Gears; Synthetic
Oil; Raybestos Ceramic Brake Pads; TGF Door Panel Inserts & Headrest Covers;
SheepskinExpress Sheepskin Seatcovers; Grille Light; Pinstriping by Bo Boring;
Painted Valve Cover; Window Tinting; Windshield Visor Banner; Front Bumper
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bumpers removed; rear mudflaps; painted calipers; Prowler Products by Gary
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w/shimmers, Chrome Lugnuts and Chrome Radio Bezel Shimmer; Dash Rings;
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Plenum; Painted Radiator Crossmember; Painted Rear Mudflaps; Air Patrol
graphics; Aluminum engine compartment support bars; PlasmaGlow 7-color LED
Underbody Kit; Dash Designs Dash Mat; Airbrushed Rear Trim Panel and Painted
Headlight Caps.

More 'Pumpkin' photos . . . . . More cars and other stuff

New pictures in Personal Scrapbook (02/23/03)

"I may have to grow older, but I do not have to grow up!"

posted 09-23-2004 08:56 AM         

Thanks, Norm for sharing.

Prowl On, people!

Kevin

quote:

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Originally posted by Dave Mills:
If its a good story.....why does it have to be true?

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It doesn't but, alot of folks thought they were.