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Off Topic Husbands and wives... (Page 2) UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone!
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This topic is 2 pages long: 1 2 This topic was originally posted in this forum: Tires, Rims Discusssion |
Author | Topic: Husbands and wives... |
Jim C Prowler Junkie Posts: 537 |
posted 09-10-2004 09:38 AM
Husbands and wives... An old farmer... An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning til night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He plowed a lot. One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again. Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on. All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot. At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement. This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it. So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men. The old farmer said, "Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement." "And what about the men?" the minister asked. "They wanted to know if the mule was for sale." ========================================================= Husbands... One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma." And they say blondes are dumb. ========================================================= Wives... A couple are lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world" The woman says, "I'll miss you..." ========================================================= Wives... "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied. ========================================================= Wives... He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I have wanted to make love to you really badly. She said - Well, you succeeded. ========================================================= Wives... He said- "What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you"? She said - "Turn sideways and look in the mirror" ========================================================= Husbands... Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumor ========================================================= Husbands... A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been such a devoted couple she would grant each of them a very special wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger.... Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety! Gotta love that fairy! Dear Lord, |
pumpkin Prowler Junkie Posts: 7907 |
posted 09-10-2004 02:11 PM
------------------ More 'Pumpkin' photos . . . . . More cars and other stuff New pictures in Personal Scrapbook (02/23/03) "The Prowler is not a car to go from Point A to Point B. The Prowler is the Point!" |
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