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ProwlerOnline, Plymouth/Chrysler Prowler Discussion Forum
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Mike K (Page 2)
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| This topic is 2 pages long: 1 2 This topic was originally posted in this forum: Tires, Rims Discusssion |
| Author | Topic: Mike K |
|
Bcoffman Gray Ghost Prowler Junkie Posts: 2418 |
posted 01-29-2004 06:33 AM
HOUSTON TRAFFIC RULES FOR PEOPLE VISITING DURING SUPER BOWL XXXVIII, >FEBRUARY 1, 2004 > > > > > >1. You must learn to pronounce the name of the city. It is "Hue-stun," >not >"Ewe-ston," and definitely not "How-ston." The street named San Felipe is >pronounced "San fe-LEE-pay," not "San Fi-LEEP" or "San Fay-LEE-pee." > > > >2. Forget any traffic rules you learned anywhere else. Houston has its >own >version of traffic rules. They are called "Hold On And Pray." There is no >such thing as a high-speed chase in Houston. We all drive like that. > > > >3. All directions start with "Go down to Loop 610," which has no beginning >and no end. > > > > 4. You have the East, Katy, Southwest, North, South, Northwest, and >Eastex freeways, which are actually I-10 East, I-10 West, 59 North, 59 >South, I-45 North, I-45 South, and 290, but not in that order. Your job is >to figure out which one you really want to get on, without any signs to >tell >you. God help you if you are in the wrong lane, or you will go around >Loop >610 again, which is an endless circle. > > > > > 5 . The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m.to 11:30 a.m. The >noon-hour rush is 11:00 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. The evening rush hour is 2:00 >p.m. to 8:00 p.m., sometimes 9:00 p.m.(or 3 a.m.during floods, which we >call >"ponding"). The teenagers take the streets from 9:00 p.m.through 5:00 >a.m., >and Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning. > > > > 6 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you WILL be rear ended, >or >at least cussed out, and/or possibly shot. When you are the first off the >starting line, count to 5 before moving when the light turns green, to >avoid >being "T-boned" by crossing traffic. > > > > 7. Construction on every freeway, loop, and tollway in the city is a >permanent form of entertainment as well as a source of delays. > > > > 8 . Kuykendahl Road can be pronounced ONLY by a native Houstonian. >(It is pronounced "Kirk-n-doll.") > > > > 9 . All unexplained smells are accompanied by the phrase "Oh, we >must >be > > near Pasadena." > > > >10 . If someone actually has his turn signal on, it is probably a >factory defect and should be ignored. > > 11 . All Suburbans have the right-of-way, unless you are driving an >18-wheeler or perhaps a Bradley tank. > > > >12. The minimum acceptable speed limit on Loop 610 is 85 mph. > > > > 13 . The wrought-iron bars on windows in East Houstonare NOT >ornamental. > > > > 14 . Never look at the driver of a car with a bumper sticker that >says, >"Keep honking. I'm reloading." In fact, don't honk at anyone. > > > > 15 . If you are in the left lane, and going only 70 mph in a 60 mph >zone, the people who are passing you are not really waving at you. > > > > 16 . If it is 100 degrees outside, then January 1st must be next >weekend. > > > > 17 . The Sam Houston Toll Roadis Houston's daily version of a NASCAR >race. > > > > 18 . When in doubt, remember that all unmarked exits lead to the state >of Louisiana. > > > > 19. Don't get on Main Street unless you really WANT to be on Main >Street. Left turns and right turns are not allowed between the South >Loop >and Dallas (Dallas,Texas, not Dallas Street). > > > > 20 . Don't get sick or injured. There are no parking spaces in the >Texas Medical Center for anyone but doctors. > > > > 21 . You don't have to wait for an exit to get off the freeways. >Just follow the ruts in the grass to the frontage road like everyone else. >This is how Houston residents notify the Texas Department of Transportation >where exits should have been built in the first place. > > > > Y'ALL ENJOY YOUR STAY IN HOUSTON, AND COME BACK REAL SOON NOW, Y'HEAR? |
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JKrehel Prowler Junkie Posts: 688 |
posted 01-29-2004 01:48 PM
It sounds like you've driven here before  Alot of those are true |
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Wayne Finch Prowler Junkie Posts: 4011 |
posted 01-29-2004 05:11 PM
Been there....done that |
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cnote6 Prowler Junkie Posts: 10955 |
posted 01-30-2004 01:23 AM
quote:
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CJ Prowler Junkie Posts: 18860 |
posted 01-30-2004 06:40 AM
I changed my mind.........I thought Michigan was bad!!!  |
| This topic is 2 pages long: 1 2 All times are CT (US) | This is an ARCHIVED topic. You may not reply to it! |
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