Author
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Topic: Laws of the Universe
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Bcoffman Gray Ghost Prowler Junkie Posts: 2418 From: Marshall,Mo.65340 Registered: DEC 2002
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posted 01-12-2006 04:28 PM
Laws of the Universe.............. * Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch. * Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. * Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal. * Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. * Variation Law: If you change lines or traffic lanes, the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. * Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. * Law of Lines: When you walk IN the grocery store, there's never anyone in the checkout line. * Inverse Hair Dryer Law: You're sure you hear the phone ringing in the background, until you turn the hair dryer off. * Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. * Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. * Law of Bio mechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. * Theater Law: At any event, the people whose seats are farthest from the aisle arrive last. * Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. * Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. * Law of Natural Attraction: If you and your date are the only two on a five-mile stretch of beach, the family of five will set up right next to you. * Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug. * Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are. * Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. * Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet. * Law of the Last Word: "Hey, watch this!"
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Fat Pat Prowler Junkie Posts: 1242 From: Blue Springs, Missouri, USA Registered: DEC 2004
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posted 01-12-2006 04:41 PM
Law of Intelligence: When AC posts nothing intelligent EVER comes out!!
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pumpkin Prowler Junkie Posts: 7907 From: Las Cruces, NM, USA Registered: DEC 2001
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posted 01-12-2006 05:20 PM
All true, great stufff.
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SirReal Prowler Junkie Posts: 3332 From: Burtonsville,Md Good ole U.S.A Registered: MAR 2003
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posted 01-12-2006 05:32 PM
and lest we forget the Kitchen TV Law which states while cooking and preparing a meal there is something you really want to see and the second the meal is ready and your butt hits the seat BINGO five minutes of commercials.
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