Posts: 7907
From: Las Cruces, NM, USA
Registered: DEC 2001

posted 12-15-2005 10:14 AM         

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bject: Perks of Being Over 40

>1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
>2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
>3. No one expects you to run into a burning building.
>4. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
>5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
>6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
>7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
>8. You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.
>9. You can live without sex but not without glasses.
>10. You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations
>11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
>12. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
>13. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
>14. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks
>into the room.
>15. You sing along with elevator music.
>16 Your eyes won't get much worse.
>17. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay
>off.
>18. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national
>weather service.
>19. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't
>remember them either.
>20. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
>21. You can't remember who sent you this list.
>
>"OLD" IS WHEN... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes
>and you're barefoot.
>"OLD" IS WHEN... A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens
>the garage door.
>"OLD" IS WHEN... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as
>you don't have to go along.
>"OLD" IS WHEN... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of
>by the police.
>"OLD" IS WHEN... "Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any
>fiber today.
>"OLD" IS WHEN... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking
>lot.
>"OLD" IS WHEN... An "all-nighter" means not getting up to pee.

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