Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the
wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I
don't
expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table
unless
I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing,
boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you
give
me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that
there
will be sex here at seven o'clock every night, whether you're here or
not."

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Marriage (Part II)

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th
wedding
anniversary! The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a
headstone
that reads: "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever "
"Yeah?" she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that

reads: "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last"

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Marriage (Part III)

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast
table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed

either!" and storms out of the house. After sometime, he realizes he was

nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the
phone
after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "what took you so long
to
answer the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!"

******************************************
Marriage (Part IV)

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is
so
proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in
spite
of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go
home
and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts
at
the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'"
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right

back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."

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