Posts: 2418
From: Marshall,Mo.65340
Registered: DEC 2002

posted 06-11-2005 07:09 AM         

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Pregnancy, Estrogen, and Women

>PREGNANCY Q & A & more!
>
>Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
>A: No, 35 children is enough.
>
>Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
>A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
>
>Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
>A: Childbirth.
>
>Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
>A: So what's your question?
>
>Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain
I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?!
>A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
>
>Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
>A: Right after you find out you're pregnant
>
>Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
>A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
>
>Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
>A: Yes, pregnancy.
>
>Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
>A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
>
>Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife
begin to feel and act normal! again?
>A: When the kids are in college.
>
>
>"ESTROGEN ISSUES"
>10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"
>
>1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
>2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet
>3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
>4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
>5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up
every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-"
>6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
>7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space."
>8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.
>9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
>10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.
>
>
>TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
>10. Cats' facial expressions.
>9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
>8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
>7. Fat clothes
>6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
>5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
>4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
>3. Eyelash curlers.
>2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
>
>AND, the Number One thing only women understand:
>
>1. OTHER WOMEN

Posts: 7907
From: Las Cruces, NM, USA
Registered: DEC 2001

Posts: 2120
From: Sedalia Mo USA
Registered: MAY 2003

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