posted 06-11-2005 07:00 AM         

New Heavy Element:

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium." Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.

GOVERNMENTIUM has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element which radiates just as much energy, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

posted 06-11-2005 01:50 PM         

quote:

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Originally posted by Fat Pat:
Sounds like Bill has had personal experience with this ne substance!! Anyone who has owned a small business has known about this "new" substance for a long time...(we just didn't know what to call it)

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Amen. I owned small businesses all my working life and I remember I went to the SBA for a loan.......once. Never again. Paper, paper and more paperwork.