posted 02-19-2005 11:08 AM         

1. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

2. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some people just don't have film.

3. A day without sunshine is like ... night.

4. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

6. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

7. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

8. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.

9. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

10. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

11. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will
be misquoted and used against you.

12. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

13. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

14. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains
so popular?

15. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

16. It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial
cost and blamed it on the cost of living.

17. The 50-50-90 rule: Any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

18. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end
to end, someone will be stupid enough to try passing them.

19. You can't have everything; where would you put it?

20. Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of
the world's population.

21. The things that come to those who wait are usually the
things left by those who got there first.

22. A fine is a tax for doing badly. A tax is a fine for doing well.

23. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

24. I wish the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

25. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

26. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people
appear bright until you hear them speak.