posted 02-18-2005 06:30 AM         

---You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3, said test
pilot Paul F. Crickmore.

---The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

---As the carrier sailors say, there are more planes in the ocean than
submarines in the sky.

---If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a
helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.

---When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough
power left to get you to the scene of the crash.

---Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another expensive flying
club.

---What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots ? If
a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, the same thing
happens.

---The three most common expressions in aviation are: "Why is it doing
that?" "Where are we ?" and "Oh $hit !"

---Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers.

---Progress in airline flying: now a flight attendant can get a pilot
pregnant.

---Airspeed, altitude and brains. At least two are needed to successfully
complete the flight.

---A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a
row is a lie.

---Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there !

---Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the
purpose of storing dead batteries.

---The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely
kill you, said Max Stanley, Northrop test pilot.

---The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and, a
good bowel movement. A night carrier landing is one of the few places to
experience all three at the same time.

---If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.

---Basic Flying Rules: Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go
near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the
appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is
much more difficult to fly there.

---You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full
power to taxi to the terminal.