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Topic: Some old - Some new

Bcoffman Gray Ghost
Prowler Junkie

Posts: 2418
From: Marshall,Mo.65340
Registered: DEC 2002

posted 02-05-2005 06:47 PM

Some old -- some new -- but funny!!
>
>>Puns
> >>* Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The
> >>stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one
> carrion
> >>allowed per passenger."
> >>*
> >>* Did you hear that NASA recently put a bunch of Holsteins into low
> >>earth orbit? They called it the herd shot 'round the world.
> >>*
> >>* Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood
> >>and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields
>
> >>and
> >>never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the
> >>lesser of two weevils.
> >>*
> >>* Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire
> >>in the craft, it sank proving once again that you can't have your kayak
>
> >>and
> >>heat it, too.
> >>*
> >>* A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up
> >>to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
> >>*
> >>* Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root
> >>canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
> >>*
> >>* A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing
> >>in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about
> an
> >>hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
> "But
> >>why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand
> >>chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
> >>*
> >>* A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes
> >>to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in
> >>Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of
> himself
> >>to
> >>his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband
> that
> >>she
> >>wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "They're
> >>twins!
> >>If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
> >>*
> >>* These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up
> >>a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy
> flowers
> >>from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the
> competition
> >>was
> >>unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He
>
> >>went
> >>back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival
> >>florist
> >>hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to
> >>"persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their
> store,
> >>saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did
> so,
> >>thereby proving that: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
> >>*
> >>* And finally, there was a person (guess who?) who sent ten different
> >>puns to friends, in the hope that at least one of the puns would make
> them
> >>laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
> >

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