posted 12-31-2004 06:16 AM         

The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to
take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's
winners.

Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little
sign of breaking down in the near future.

Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.

Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period.

Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like,
a serious bummer.

Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming
only things that are good for you.

Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the
fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an a**hole.