posted 02-02-2003 03:54 PM         

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing
Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is however, strong enough, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20-foot room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even doubled paned) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words Uh-oh, it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.

10. Certain LEGO'S will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.

11. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.

12. Super Glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject PB & J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make a lot of noise when driving.

18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a five-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make worms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

22. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

23. The mind of a six-year-old is wonderful.

24. And, last but not least: The First Grade...True Story:

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She rad: ...And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me, sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?' The teacher then asked the class, And what do you think the man said?

posted 02-02-2003 05:20 PM         

After ten seconds of silence,,,,,you people know me, I'm going to take a guess

I yell back at her: SUPERMAN???

posted 02-02-2003 06:24 PM         

CJ: are those you grand children your talking about?

posted 02-03-2003 08:25 AM         

Some ACTUAL observations:

1)Hamsters can survive outside their cage for 6 months and reappear.
2)Eating dog food and poop won't kill a kid.
3)Crayons melt in a clothes dryer.
4)Crayons melt in August on the fabric behind the back seat in Grandma's new car.
5)A Power Ranger figurine's head can lodge in a 4 year old boy's nose.
6)A Kevlar vest can stop a bullet, but a youth Kevlar hockey vest/pads won't prevent a broken collar bone.
7)A bag of dirty diapers should be classified as hazardous waste.
8)A bag of dirty diapers CAN make a garage collector barf.
9)A 6 year old girl can have the syntoms of PMS.
10)A 45 lb. 6 year old girl can make a 250 lb. Dad melt with 4 simple words - I love you Daddy!

posted 02-04-2003 08:38 AM         

Mine ask me some TOUGH questions like: If a plane is so heavy, how does it fly? How does a TV work? What is an abortion? What did that Monica lady do to the President?!