posted 01-17-2003 01:55 PM         

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning!

The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment

and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.

The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some

woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."

SECOND DEGREE

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the

sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the

mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde

says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The

second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

THIRD DEGREE

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out

and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when

she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the

blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and

as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts

it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"

The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

FOURTH DEGREE

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly

says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK, what's

the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."

FIFTH DEGREE

What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?

"Is it mine?"

SIXTH DEGREE

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US

government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what

Roe vs. Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said,

"That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed

the Delaware."

SEVENTH DEGREE

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house

ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and

reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the

radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As

the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde

ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog,

then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned,

"I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for

help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman."

posted 01-20-2003 08:32 AM         

The man says" You painted my whole porch with only 2 gallons?"