posted 10-09-2002 01:53 PM         

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary!

3. The difference between the Pope and your boss -- The
Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

4. My mind works like lightening. One brilliant flash
and its gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is
when your in the bathroom.

6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once, the seat
folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well it
really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable.
Now, of course, there's shipping and handling too.

8. A husband is someone who after taking out the trash,
gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.

9. My next house will have no kitchen -- just vending
machines and a large trash can.

10. I'm so depressed...My doctor refused to write me a
prescription for viagra. He said it would be like
putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.

11. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to
see how he was doing and found him writing frantically.
I told him rabies could be cured and he didn't have
to worry about a will. He said, "Will? What will? I'm
making a list of the people i wanna bite!"