posted 05-13-2002 09:51 PM         

Why do men like love at first sight?
It saves them a lot of time.

A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?
Dating children.

Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.

Why don't men have mid-life crises?
They stay stuck in adolescence.

How does a man show he's planning for the Future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
At the circus the clowns don't talk.

Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A.A dog is always happy to see you
B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train

Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.

What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.

What did God say after creating man?
I can do better.

Husband: Want a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what?

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why do jocks play on artificial turf?
To keep them from grazing.

If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in
convenience stores and drive-through windows.

Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics?
He had it bronzed.

How do some men define Roe vs. Wade?
Two ways to cross a river.

What is gross stupidity?
144 men in one room.

Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?

What's the difference between a porcupine and a Corvette?
The porcupine has pricks on the outside.

How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.

Only a man would buy a $500 car and put a $4000 stereo in it.

Why does the stupid man put ice in his condom?
To keep the swelling down.

What is the thinnest book in the world?
"What men know about women."

How does a man take a bubble bath?
He eats beans for dinner.

What is a man's idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging.

What's the difference between men and government bonds?
Bonds mature.

How do you save a man from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.

What do men and beer have in common?
They're both empty from the neck up.

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
Who knows? - did it ever happen??

What does a man consider a seven course meal?
A hot dog and a six pack.

Why are men like laxatives?
They can irritate the crap out of you.

Why is it good that there are women astronauts?
So that when the crew gets lost in space, at least the women will ask for directions

How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomach everytime they see a bikini

Why do men like blonde jokes so much?
Because they can understand them

What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
1. No mind.
2. No business.

Why is a woman different from a PC?
A woman won't accept a 3½" floppy

Why is a man different from a PC?
You only have to tell the PC once

Why are men like blenders?
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

posted 05-13-2002 11:22 PM         

------------------
2000 Silver Prowler
Front and Rear Mudflaps
Logo Valve Stem Caps
$14 chrome grill
Mopar hitch
Bumper Shimmers
Mopar Prowler Car Cover

2001 Eddie Bauer Expedition
2001 F150 Super Crew

posted 05-14-2002 07:37 AM         

quote:

---

CJ are you TRYING to TELL us SOMETHING. why are YOU picking ON us. see you in louisville then i don't have to type and i can really lay in on ya

---

Who is picking on whom?

i am bring all my tricks so watch out ED,CJ, MEANGENE
and who ever. the only thing it will be hard to steer.

Sorry folks but i heard this was fixed , i think CJ knows BILL CLINTON

[QUOTE]Originally posted by CJ:

[B]FIXED!!?? I thought you were the one that knows how to fix things.........Nothing fixed about this. I could have just taken my prize and gone home with you .....You're just a sore loser 'cause you didn't qualify in the first place and you can't figure out how to get to Louisville!! for the record........I wouldn't have anything to do with Bill Clinton if he was the last human on this planet besides me. [QUOTE]
what do you mean go home with me lol

CJ if u only new what i do to little people.first i take them and use them as a sponge to wash my hummers and then well i don't want to get in to it right now, but u are close to a free demo. lol

PK if you get involved i will put you on my list of people that i am going to put over my knee and give a spankng

Just so you all know i know a lot of people in low places, i am sorry but you already know that because i am talking to all of ya. (burn)

All right CJ it is time to take out the big GUNS

and for the big guns i got them out and started to polish them so look out MEANGENE & CJ ok and ED too

Black cars make good pot hole filler

Meangene very fuc-in funny you all will pay the price then when your on your knees begging for forgiveness i will have no mercy

one of them was CJ, she saw one of my hummers comming down the road and had to get out of the way....... oh ya

sorry CJ it is to late,i know who you are.

fixumm.......I don't have to TRY to tell you something...I'm usually pretty direct and to the point. It just seems that every so often you "guys" have to put up women bashing jokes/pictures. That's okay, but then we deserve the same opportunity.........

posted 05-14-2002 08:38 AM         

Have pity...Fixumm's typing skills and spelling have been suspect lately. You would have the same results if you tried to type using ball-peen hammers and checking the spelling with the latest copies of "See Dick Run", "Sesame Street Kids"! Think about it, some pictures in those books, don't have captions for him

posted 05-15-2002 07:53 AM         

That's what friends are for! I'm trying to appeal to CJ's sensitive side and averting a MAJOR mind and body altering experience for you. Think about it - Fixumm - she knows :

1. where you are staying in KY - and YOU will have to sleep sometime. Scary thought - isn't!
2. things about your car's ability to function. )
3. you're a man (well.... maybe!)