Posts: 33595
From: Cincinnati, OH
Registered: JUL 2000

posted 03-09-2002 04:03 PM         

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Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Shamus, were stumbling home from the pub
> > late one night and found themselves on the road which led past them old
> > graveyard.
> > "Come have a look over here," says Paddy, "It's Michael O'Grady's grave,
> > God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87."
> > "That's nothing", says Sean,"here's one named Patrick O'Tool, it says
> > here that he was 95 when he died."
> > Just then, Shamus yells out, "Good God, here's a fella that got to be
> > 145!"
> > "What was his name?" asks Paddy?
> > Shamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else
> > is written on the stone marker, and exclaims, "Miles, from Dublin.

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Posts: 7476
From: Lake Ariel, Pa.
Registered: SEP 2000

posted 03-09-2002 05:48 PM         

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Yellow is DCOOLEST

Posts: 76
From: Warren, PA USA
Registered: APR 2001

posted 03-09-2002 05:58 PM         

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ED, And Irish Blessing for you

How sweetly Lies old Ireland
Emerald green beyond the foam,

Awakening sweet memories,

Calling the heart back home.

Posts: 343
From: Punta Gorda, Florida
Registered: JUL 2000

posted 03-09-2002 09:26 PM         

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A little risque, but still funny:

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.

"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender. "Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.

"That little **** , O'Conner," says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand." That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."

"Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?" "That I did," said Paddy. "Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."

Posts: 343
From: Punta Gorda, Florida
Registered: JUL 2000

posted 03-09-2002 09:31 PM         

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One more for tonight - a little Irish toast:

A good Irish man, John O'Reilly, met regularly with his toastmasters club. One evening they were hitting the Guinness Stout and having a contest at who could make the best toast. John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!"

That won him the top prize for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh that is very nice indeed, John!", Mary said. The next day Mary ran into one of John's toasting buddies on the
street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night with a toast about you Mary."

She said, "Aye and I was a bit surprised meself! You know, he's only been there twice! Once he fell asleep and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come!"

Posts: 626
From: Greensboro,N.C.,USA
Registered: OCT 2000

Posts: 33595
From: Cincinnati, OH
Registered: JUL 2000

posted 03-10-2002 10:54 PM         

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An Irish woman goes to her local parish priest and informs him that her husband died suddenly the night before. The priest offers his condolences and asked if Patrick had any final words or wishes. She replied, Yes, he said, "Mary, please put the gun down."

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All times are CT (US)