posted 04-27-2001 06:11 AM         

Bill Gates dies in a car accident and finds himself in Purgatory, being sized up by St. Peter.

"This is a tough call, Bill;" says St. Peter "I'm not sure where to send you. You helped society enormously by putting computers in homes across the world, but you also created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've never done before. In your case, I'll let you decide whether you want to go to Heaven or Hell. I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision."

"OK, let's try Hell."

So Bill went to Hell first. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters and frolicking women. The sun was shining; the temperature was perfect. Bill was very pleased. "This is great!" he told St. Peter. "If this is Hell, I really want to see Heaven!"

And off they went to Heaven. Heaven was high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a moment, then rendered his decision. "I think I'd prefer Hell," he told St. Peter.

"As you wish," St. Peter replied. So Bill Gates went to Hell.

Two weeks later, St. Peter dropped in on the late billionare to see how he was faring in Hell. When he arrived, he found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured by demons. "How's it going?" he asked Bill.

His voice filled with anguish and disappointment, Bill screamed, "This is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! What happened to that other place-with the perfect beaches, the beautiful women playing in the water?"

"Oh, that," St. Peter said. "That was only a demo."

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CJ - 1999 Black
Stock / Classic / Beautiful