posted 11-14-2004 08:37 AM         

My Fellow Americans:
As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed. Since
congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission
in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American
forces f! rom Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now
to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries
which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is
short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are
some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the
worlds nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing
copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those
nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the
Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world
Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with a! n epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this
money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.
On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we
will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face
of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or
maybe Russia.

To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace deal
now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to
Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables,
too. I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with
France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are
retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many
UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid
parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, s! hredded
and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You
creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets Pay those tickets
tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned
over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are
likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to
try not pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President
Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude
adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions
sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security.
So start doing something with your oil.
Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty ---
starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens.
So! me will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them be saying, "darn
t ootin."

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the
world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on
the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to
eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup
Soccer from America.
To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and
we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.

God bless America.
Thank you and good night.

posted 11-14-2004 09:13 AM         

I have never in my lifetime supported "foreign aid" to other countries who basically, crap on us in return!

Example: The old Yugoslavia - our government handed mega millions to Tito when he was in power. Tito in return bought Soviet Mig fighter planes with our U.S. $$$ That is just one small example,,,,the real facts would kill you.

Mexico - it's time to tell V. Fox to take a hike. I can't see where he has kept one promise he made to the working poor of Mexico to get elected president. Its long been a fact that 5% of the Mexican population control 90% of the wealth within that sewer box of a country.

Canada - You stood with us on D-Day at Normandy, and took heavy losses with the U.S. forces. Since then it seems your government looks the other way or looks to those French cowards for direction? If a terrorist controlled airliner ever cuts the 1800 foot Toronto CN Tower in half,,,May God help you.

we still love you even though your big and rough !

posted 11-14-2004 10:25 AM         

---------------------------

Pen...

I'm thinking that Spain (who bugged out when the going got tough) goes onto the "second list" and be included in the "Axis of Weasel"?

posted 11-14-2004 03:02 PM         

GO DODGES!!!!

newman is the man now, he's the only mopar that has a chance to win the cup...

now the election is over can those kerry supporters send thier balls to our politicians ?.....maybe some spare guts as well...

well it must be true if ya read it in the paper....

those are your people, not ours... (unless they are the doctors)...i don't think they qualify unless georgie is going to have them killed if they stay...

but if you do come up maybe you could haul back a load of pigeons for your monument...

posted 11-14-2004 05:53 PM         

Near as I can tell...there's at least 10,000 of our finest headed to the Great North? Thanks for helping out!! .

yea a fine bunch they would be.... probably all inmates released early because of the overcrowded prisons to make room for the wrongly convicted. a real problem down there i hear. read it in the paper , must be true.

posted 11-14-2004 11:30 PM         

That does it!!! We have 3 to 5 thousand illegal Mexicans crossing the border into Arizona every week,,,,,yes, every WEEK! I'm going down to the border towns and put up signs that read:

Jobs that pay good, free health insurance, welfare benefits, food stamps [for caribou meat], and low cost housing - - - - Follow the signs to Canada where you are always WELCOMED!!

ac, chk your sources.... who said we welcome anyone ?

posted 11-15-2004 07:56 AM         

quote:

---

Originally posted by GenoTex:
Weren't we all ( at least our ancestors) "illegal aliens" at one time or another?

---

Geno - I hardly ever disagree with you,,,,but this time I will. Most of our ancestors were immigrants, who immigrated to this country to take up residence and become a productive, law obeying citizen after going through the proper procedures.

Most illegals are here to make more money than what they can make in their homeland,,,,steal what they can from you,,,,use up whatever benefits they can get by using phoney names,addresses, soc. sec. #'s,,,,live like roaches in many numbers in apartments and rented houses,,,,AND carry no auto insurance when they plow into your nice yellow cat and then run from the scene!!

halicat - Dr. Prowler and Frank said everyone was welcomed to Canada. Maybe they meant to the summer Prowler event,,,but they weren't specific, lol.