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Author	Topic: Joke of the day
Bcoffman Gray Ghost Prowler Junkie Posts: 2418 From: Marshall,Mo.65340 Registered: DEC 2002	posted 11-13-2004 04:48 PM Joke Of The Day: A man is lying in bed in a hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young nurse appears to sponge his face and hands. "Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I''m only here to wash your face and hands." He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, Are my testicles black?" Again the nurse replies, "I can''t tell. I''m only here to wash your face and hands." The ward nurse passes by and sees the man getting a little distraught so she marches over to inquire what is wrong. "Nurse," he mumbles, "Are my testicles black?" Being a nurse she is undaunted. She whips back the bedclothes, pulls down his pajama trousers, moves his penis out of the way, has a good look, pulls up the pajamas, replaces the bedclothes and announces, "Nothing is wrong with them!!!" At this the man pulls off his oxygen mask and asks again, "Are my test results back?"
pumpkin Prowler Junkie Posts: 7907 From: Las Cruces, NM, USA Registered: DEC 2001	posted 11-13-2004 05:13 PM Now thats funny ------------------ Current mods: Mopar dual exhaust & front mudflaps; MacMotorsports Air Intake; Real Rod Air Patrol; Graphics by Balistek Designs; ($8) Chrome grille; Chrome tire valve-stem covers; Painted rear bumper lettering; Prowler Pro Gears; Synthetic Oil; Raybestos Ceramic Brake Pads; TGF Door Panel Inserts & Headrest Covers; SheepskinExpress Sheepskin Seatcovers; Grille Light; Pinstriping by Bo Boring; Painted Valve Cover; Window Tinting; Windshield Visor Banner; Front Bumper Removal / Relocation of Front Turn Signal Lights; Real Rod Transmission Cooler Cover, Sill and Carpet Covers, Aero Front Covers and Roadster Rear Pan, rear bumpers removed; rear mudflaps; painted calipers; Prowler Products by Gary Drilled Rotors, front and rear; Painted tach; Jay's Aluminum Billet Center Caps w/shimmers, Chrome Lugnuts and Chrome Radio Bezel Shimmer; Dash Rings; Windshield Wiper Arm Removal; Fender Trim; Speaker Replacement; Painted Plenum; Painted Radiator Crossmember; Painted Rear Mudflaps; Air Patrol graphics; Aluminum engine compartment support bars; PlasmaGlow 7-color LED Underbody Kit; Dash Designs Dash Mat; Airbrushed Rear Trim Panel and Painted Headlight Caps. More 'Pumpkin' photos . . . . . More cars and other stuff New pictures in Personal Scrapbook (02/23/03) "I may have to grow older, but I do not have to grow up!" "The Prowler is not a car to go from Point A to Point B. The Prowler is the Point!"
ransom1945 Prowler Junkie Posts: 768 From: Beaverton, Oregon, USA Registered: MAR 2003	posted 11-13-2004 05:15 PM A three year old little boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath "Mama" he asked, "Are these my brains?" Mama answered....... "Not yet"
ransom1945 Prowler Junkie Posts: 768 From: Beaverton, Oregon, USA Registered: MAR 2003	posted 11-14-2004 12:01 PM Blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do. "Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, "How much will you charge me?" The blonde quickly responded, "How about $50?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need was in the garage. The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?" He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?" The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those 'dumb blonde' jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" the husband asked. "Yes," the blonde replied," and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her. "And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus.
ransom1945 Prowler Junkie Posts: 768 From: Beaverton, Oregon, USA Registered: MAR 2003	posted 11-15-2004 03:01 AM This message has been edited by ransom1945 on 11-15-2004 at 03:09 AM
ransom1945 Prowler Junkie Posts: 768 From: Beaverton, Oregon, USA Registered: MAR 2003	posted 11-17-2004 03:13 PM The Parrot A young man named Ted received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. Ted tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary. Finally, Ted was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. Ted shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. Ted, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.After a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, Ted quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto Ted's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." Ted was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?" HAPPY THANKSGIVING! ......Ransom
ransom1945 Prowler Junkie Posts: 768 From: Beaverton, Oregon, USA Registered: MAR 2003	posted 11-17-2004 07:03 PM Balls Taking a wee break from the golf course, Tiger Woods drives his new Mercedes into an Irish gas station. An attendant greets him in typical Irish manner, unaware who the golf pro is... "Top o' the mornin to ya". As Tiger gets out of the car, two tees fall out of his pocket. "So what are those things, laddie?" asks the attendant. "They're called tees," replies Tiger. "And what would ya be usin 'em for, now?" inquires the Irishman. "Well, they're for resting my balls on when I drive," replies Tiger. "Aw, Jaysus, Mary an' Joseph!" exclaims the Irish attendant. "Those fellas at Mercedes think of everything
butchcee Prowler Junkie Posts: 7476 From: Lake Ariel, Pa. Registered: SEP 2000	posted 11-17-2004 07:30 PM

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