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Topic: The Joys of English

BuckNekkid
Prowler Junkie

Posts: 652
From: Ocala, FL
Registered: JUN 2003

posted 11-12-2004 11:59 AM

For those who appreciate the intricacies of the English language...the
Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to
supply alternate meanings for various words. The following were some of
this year's winning entries:

Our vocabularianism winners are...

1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have
gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
answer the door in your nightie.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you
are runover by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a
proctologist immediately before he examines you.

13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish
expressions.

14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul
goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.

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