posted 08-24-2004 11:36 AM         

For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that's less than the cost
of a large screen projection TV) you can help a marginal NHL player
remain economically viable during his time of need. This contribution
by no means solves the problem as it barely covers the annual minimum
salary, but it's a start, and every little bit will help!

Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a marginal
hockey player it could mean the difference between spending the lockout
golfing in Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred
dollars is nothing more than a month's rent, a mortgage payment, or a
summer vacation, but to a hockey player, $700 will partially replace his
daily salary. Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable a
player to buy that home entertainment center, trade in that year-old
Lexus for a new Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio that they otherwise
would be without.

HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?

Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player
you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real
estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home.
Plus, upon signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned
photo of the player lounging during the lockout on a beach somewhere in
the Caribbean (for a signed photo, please include an additional $150).
Put the photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples'
suffering.

HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING?

Your NHL player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants
to help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your name, he
will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator
in case additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.

Can I give more?

Yes you can! You may sponsor a good, or even a superstar NHL player.
Although the cost is greater, so is the personal satisfaction of knowing
that you helped keep a 20,000 square foot roof over their head on the
beach in Florida or allowed them to keep their personal assistants so
they do not miss any golf games at the Private Clubs.

YES, I WANT TO HELP!

I would like to sponsor a locked out NHL player. My preference is
(check below):

[ ] Forward

[ ] Defenseman

[ ] Goaltender

[ ] Entire team (Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost of a
specific team - $10 per minute)

[ ] Jaromir Jagr (Higher cost: $32,000 per day)

Please charge the account listed below $694.50 per day for the duration
of the lockout. Please send me a picture of the player I have
sponsored, along with an Jaromir Jagr 2001 Income Statement and my very
own Bob Goodenow (Executive Director of the NHLPA player's Union) pin to
wear proudly on my hat (include $80 for hat).

Your Name: _______________________

Telephone Number: _______________________

Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______

[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other

Signature: _______________________

Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):

Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______

[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other

Signature: _______________________

------------------

Current mods: Mopar dual exhaust & front mudflaps; MacMotorsports Air Intake;
Real Rod Air Patrol; Graphics by Balistek Designs; ($8) Chrome grille; Chrome
tire valve-stem covers; Painted rear bumper lettering; Prowler Pro Gears; Synthetic
Oil; Raybestos Ceramic Brake Pads; TGF Door Panel Inserts & Headrest Covers;
SheepskinExpress Sheepskin Seatcovers; Grille Light; Pinstriping by Bo Boring;
Painted Valve Cover; Window Tinting; Windshield Visor Banner; Front Bumper
Removal / Relocation of Front Turn Signal Lights; Real Rod Transmission Cooler
Cover, Sill and Carper Covers, Aero Front Covers and Roadster Rear Pan, rear
bumpers removed; rear mudflaps; painted calipers; Prowler Products by Gary
Drilled Rotors, front and rear; Painted tach; Jay's Aluminum Billet Center Caps
w/shimmers, Chrome Lugnuts and Chrome Radio Bezel Shimmer; Dash Rings;
Windshield Wiper Arm Removal; Fender Trim; Speaker Replacement; Painted
Plenum; Painted Radiator Crossmember; Painted Rear Mudflaps; Air Patrol
graphics; Aluminum engine compartment support bars; PlasmaGlow 7-color LED
Underbody Kit; Dash Designs Dash Mat; and Airbrushed Rear Trim Panel.

More 'Pumpkin' photos . . . . . More cars and other stuff

New pictures in Personal Scrapbook (02/23/03)

"I may have to grow older, but I do not have to grow up!"

posted 08-24-2004 07:04 PM         

I told them TS,,,,,,,,it pays to Discover!