posted 07-21-2004 12:55 PM         

At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "You've been a good man and your
motorcycles have changed the world. Your reward is, you can hang out
with anyone you want in Heaven."

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God."

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.

God recognized Arthur and commented, "So you were the one who invented
the Harley Davidson motorcycles, eh?"

Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me..."
God commented, "Well, what's the big deal about inventing something that's
pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution, and can't run without a road!?!"

Arthur was embarrassed, but finally spoke, "Excuse me but aren't you the
inventor of woman???"

God said, "Ah, yes."
"Well," said Arthur, "Professional to professional, you have some major
design flaws in your invention:

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion;

2. It chatters constantly at high speeds;

3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much;

4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust;

5. And the maintenance costs are outrageous!!

"Hmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "hold on."
God went to his Celestial super-computer, typed in a few words and waited
for the results.
The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it. "Well, it may be
true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these
numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours.

posted 07-21-2004 01:27 PM         

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Current mods: Mopar dual exhaust & front mudflaps; MacMotorsports Air Intake;
Real Rod Air Patrol; Graphics by Balistek Designs; ($8) Chrome grille; Chrome
tire valve-stem covers; Painted rear bumper lettering; Prowler Pro Gears; Synthetic
Oil; Raybestos Ceramic Brake Pads; TGF Door Panel Inserts & Headrest Covers;
SheepskinExpress Sheepskin Seatcovers; Grille Light; Pinstriping by Bo Boring;
Painted Valve Cover; Window Tinting; Windshield Visor Banner; Front Bumper
Removal / Relocation of Front Turn Signal Lights; Real Rod Transmission Cooler
Cover, Sill and Carper Covers, Aero Front Covers and Roadster Rear Pan, rear
bumpers removed; rear mudflaps; painted calipers; Prowler Products by Gary
Drilled Rotors, front and rear; Painted tach; Jay's Aluminum Billet Center Caps
w/shimmers, Chrome Lugnuts and Chrome Radio Bezel Shimmer; Dash Rings;
Windshield Wiper Arm Removal; Fender Trim; Speaker Replacement; Painted
Plenum; Painted Radiator Crossmember; Painted Rear Mudflaps; Air Patrol
graphics; Aluminum engine compartment support bars; PlasmaGlow 7-color LED
Underbody Kit; Dash Designs Dash Mat; and Airbrushed Rear Trim Panel.

More 'Pumpkin' photos . . . . . More cars and other stuff

New pictures in Personal Scrapbook (02/23/03)

"I may have to grow older, but I do not have to grow up!"

posted 07-21-2004 11:05 PM         

"Well, now that we have this Internet thingy, I KNOW the truth about you. You're a pedophile!"

"Whoa, now," he replies..... "that's an awfully big word for a 12-year old"!

At the pearly gates, St. Peter asks each the same question. "Have you been celebate and faithful to the cross your whole life?"

The catholic bishop answers, "Yes, I have devoted my entire life to God!" St. Peter rewards him with a gold Cadillac and he enters.

The Lutheran minster says, "Well, there was this young girl about 20 years ago but, I've been faithful ever since!" St. Peter rewards him with a gold Cavalier and he too enters.

The revival preacher says, "Shoot, you got me there. I must have had sex with 20,000 women. Is it too late to say I'm sorry?" Well says St. Peter, you have been a man of the cloth over the years and you are truly sorry...So he rewards him with a gold tricycle and off he goes into heaven.

posted 07-22-2004 10:21 PM         

quote:

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Originally posted by idive:
Three nuns died in a car wreck and were met at the pearly gates and told that as they died prematurely, God would grant each of them 1 free wish. The first nun said she was a virgin and had always wanted to spend a night with Brad Pitt. *POOF*
The 2nd nun stated that she too was a virgin, and had always wanted to spend a night with Mel Gibson. *POOF*
Then the 3rd nun eagerly explained that she too, died a virgin and would really like to spend 1 night with idive.
St. Peter looked perplexed. "Idive? Who is this idive?"
The nun shrugged her shoulders and said, "I don't know, but all my life, all I keep hearing people say, 'F*** idive! F*** idive!'

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I heard that several times while we were in Texas!

Notice I skipped making any commnents about Geno's post. I may be from Kentucky and got married while Inwas still in school, but I wasn't the POA member that married my step sister!

posted 07-22-2004 11:50 PM         

quote:

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Originally posted by Marty Usher:

I heard that several times while we were in Texas!

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