posted 07-07-2004 04:08 PM         

Subject: Seven blondes

ONE

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at
2 in the morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone,
listened a moment and
said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from
here!" and hung up. The
husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I
don't know; some woman
wanting to know 'if the coast is Clear."

TWO

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices
a compact on the
sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it,
looks in the mirror
and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The
second blonde says, "Here,
let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the
compact. The second one
looks
in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

THREE

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her,
so she goes out
and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment
unexpectedly and when she opens
the
door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well,
the blonde is really
angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and
as she does so, she
is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts
it to her head. The
boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it" The blonde
replies, "Shut up,
you're next!"

FOUR

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state
capitals. She
proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of
them." A friend says,
"OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde
replies, "Oh, that's
easy:
W."
FIVE

What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her
she was
pregnant?

"Is it mine?"

SIX

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific
accident.
Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the
wreckage without a scratch
and was
applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper
arrived. "My Goodness!"
the trooper exclaimed "Your car looks like an
accordion that was stomped on
by an elephant. "Are you OK ma'am?" "Yes, officer,
I'm just fine" the blonde
chirped. "Well, how in the world did this happen?"
the officer asked as
he surveyed the wrecked car. "Officer, it was the
strangest thing!" the
blonde began. "I was driving along this road when
from out of nowhere this
TREE
pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right,
and there was another
tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER
tree! I swerved to the
right and there was another tree! I swerved to the
left and there was ..."

"Uh, ma'am," the officer said, cutting her off,"
There isn't a tree on
this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener
swinging back and
forth."

SEVEN

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to
find her house
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police
at once and reported
the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call
on the channels, and
a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to
respond. As the K-9 officer
approached the house with his dog on a leash, the
blonde ran out on the
porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his
dog, then sat down on
the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she
all my possessions stolen. I call the police for
help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman!"

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Current mods: Mopar dual exhaust & front mudflaps; MacMotorsports Air Intake;
Real Rod Air Patrol; Graphics by Balistek Designs; ($8) Chrome grille; Chrome
tire valve-stem covers; Painted rear bumper lettering; Prowler Pro Gears; Synthetic
Oil; Raybestos Ceramic Brake Pads; TGF Door Panel Inserts & Headrest Covers;
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bumpers removed; rear mudflaps; painted calipers; Prowler Products by Gary
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Plenum; Painted Radiator Crossmember; Painted Rear Mudflaps; Air Patrol
graphics; Aluminum engine compartment support bars; PlasmaGlow 7-color LED
Underbody Kit; Dash Designs Dash Mat.

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