posted 06-27-2004 07:46 AM         

I found this at a humor website. Too bad "ol' blood 'n' guts" is dead.

My fellow Americans:

As you all know, the defeat of Iraq's regime has been completed. Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short.

The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, Norway and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.
Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to cut taxes and solve some local problems. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.

To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. You, boys. Work out a peace deal now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables, too.

I'm ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. Pay your tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are going to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I'm gonna put 'em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty--starting now.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens.

Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying darn tootin'.

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet.

It is time to cut taxes here because we will not be spending on other peoples problems.

To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you. To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead. God bless America.

Thank you and good night.

posted 06-27-2004 09:58 AM         

Yes, ole George if still alive, would have gone in there and kicked *** first, and taken names (of the dead) last.
What a great American General George was!

As for putting those extra tanks along the Mexican border,,,not needed. Its time for land mines. 1500 to 3000 Mexican nationals cross the border into Arizona every week. They want a McDonalds placed out in the desert with food and water, so they won't die on their desert journey They come to obtain the low paying entree jobs that our teenagers and welfare state people should be doing,,,,they come to bleed our health care/hospitals for baby deliveries and sickness relief, with no intention of paying the bill,,,,they come to rent a house to improve their lifestyle but then group 30 to 60 people leaving like rats in those rented homes in our neighborhoods,,,,they come to work for less money on construction jobs, bringing down the local wages for hard working Americans,,,,they come to support Wal-Mart's bottom line of profits (even Wal-Mart needs night custodians for $5 an hour),,,,they come to put their children in our schools, but don't want them to learn the english language, so we carry the extra expense of hiring bi-lingual teachers,,,,they come to break into our homes while we are out making a living and steal our personal property to sell and enjoy their own lifestyle. Yes my friends,,,,they keep coming!!!

I'm not a racist, but I'll be damn if I will be politically correct and call these people "immigrants". B S - these people are ILLEGAL ALIENS.

My grandparents were "Immigrants". They came over to the U.S. in the early 1900's from Germany through the proper channels of applying for citizenship. They sought out good jobs to provide a living for their families,,,,,they obeyed all the laws,,,,they paid 'all' their bills,,,,they lived in homes that they took care and didn't trash up the neighborhoods,,,,,they learned ENGLISH and made sure their children did as well,,,,and they understood that through education and determination that their children and grandchildren would live much better lives. They had visions to become AMERICANS and give what it took to become one,,,,,,not like those who wave their motherland's flag in our faces and just want to steal from us, burden our tax loads, and hate us for what we have.

posted 06-27-2004 12:44 PM         

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posted 06-27-2004 10:09 PM         

quote:

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[Hungarian Prime Minister] Medgyessy also assured Mr. Bush that Hungary would not withdraw its 300 troops from Iraq, despite the death of a 27-year-old Hungarian soldier in an explosion south of Baghdad two weeks ago.

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posted 07-01-2004 10:15 AM         

Even here in NC, not a border state like AZ, our hostpital emergency rooms are flodded with illegals who have no health care.

Our son broke his arm last summer and the admissions lady said that on her shift that evening my son was the first patient of over 20 that had any form of health insurance.

posted 07-01-2004 09:45 PM         

quote:

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Originally posted by Randy Cobb:

Our son broke his arm last summer and the admissions lady said that on her shift that evening my son was the first patient of over 20 that had any form of health insurance.

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Randy - Amazing isn't it? Those other 20 people that night probably work for Wal-Mart................

Here is another Arizona fact: During March of this year, the INS caught and returned 71,000 illegal aliens back to Mexico, just crossing the Az/US/Mexico border trying to sneek in. I wonder how many actually made it? They keep coming!!!

If I wasn't the museum curator,,,,I'd run for governor, lol.

A/C, the "March-stats" you posted are courtesy of Pres. Bush - ever since he "announced" (or proposed or whatever) that illegal "Mexicans" will received amnesty for several years, Mexico is going crazy.

They believe they can "come over" now and receive immediate amnesty ..........you should have seen that report on TV the other day ....unreal !!
Even the ones that NEVER CONSIDERED coming over the border now are lined up to infiltrate this country.