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Topic:   Mars and Venus on Earth

Bcoffman Gray Ghost Prowler Junkie Posts: 2418 From: Marshall,Mo.65340 Registered: DEC 2002

posted 04-25-2004 06:48 PM          > Mars & Venus on Earth > > > > > > Mars & Venus on Earth > Here is a great classic that is worth reading, even if you have seen it > before. > A guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a > movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks > her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see > each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing > anybody else. > And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, > and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: Do you realize that, as of > tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months? > And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud > silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said > that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks > I'm trying to push him into some kind of commitment that he doesn't want, or > isn't sure of. > And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months. > And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of > relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd > have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we > are, moving steadily toward... I mean, where are we going? Are we just going > to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward > marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that > level of commitment? Do I really even know this person? > And Roger is thinking: ... so that means it was... let's see ... February > when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the > dealer's, which means ... lemme check the odometer ... whoa! I am way > overdue for an oil change here. > And Elaine is thinking: he's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm > reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, > more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed -- even before I sensed > it -- that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why > he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of > being rejected. > And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission > again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. > And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold > weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a darn garbage > truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600. > And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, > too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the > way I feel. I'm just not sure. > And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90 day warranty. > That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumbags. > And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight > to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a > perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care > about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain > because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy. > And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a darn > warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their... > Roger, Elaine says aloud. > What? says Roger, startled. > Please don't torture yourself like this, she says, her eyes beginning to > brim with tears. Maybe I should never have .. Oh God, I feel so...(She > breaks down, sobbing.) > What? says Roger. I'm such a fool, Elaine sobs. I mean, I know there's no > knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no > horse. > There's no horse? says Roger. > You think I'm a fool, don't you? Elaine says. > No! says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer. > It's just that ... It's that I ... I need some time, Elaine says. > (There is a 15 second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries > to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks > might work.) > "Yes" he says. > (Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.) > "Oh Roger, do you really feel that way?" she says. > "What way?" says Roger. > "That way about time," says Elaine. > "Oh," says Roger. "Yes." > (Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to > become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves > a horse. At last she speaks.) > "Thank you, Roger", she says. > "Thank you," says Roger. > Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted tortured soul, > and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a > bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in > a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A > tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major > was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he > would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't > think about it. (This is also Roger's policy regarding world hunger.) > The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, > and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In > painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he > said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, > and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. > They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe > months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored > with it, either. > Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of > his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: "Norm, > you've known Elaine longer than I have. Did she ever own a horse?" >

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