Posts: 2418
From: Marshall,Mo.65340
Registered: DEC 2002

posted 04-13-2004 10:32 PM         

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You Might Be A Redneck If...
(2004 Version)

Your standard of living improves when you go camping.

Your prenuptial agreement mentions chickens.

You have jacked up your home
to look for a dog.

You have a relative
living in your garage.

Your neighbor asked to borrow
a quart of beer.

There is a belch on your answering machine greeting.

You have rebuilt a carburetor
while sitting on the commode.

None of the tires on your van
are the same size.

You hold the hood of your car with
your head while you work on it.

Your idea of getting lucky
is passing the emissions test.

Your town put the new garbage truck
in the Christmas parade.

Your local beauty salon also fixes cars.

Your doghouse and your living room
have the same shag carpet.

You've ever slow danced
in the Waffle House.

Starting your car involves
popping the hood.

Your garbage man is confused
about what goes and what stays.

You whistle at women in church.

You actually wear shoes
your dog brought home.

You've been in a fistfight
at a yard sale.

You carry a fly swatter in the
front seat of the car so you can reach the kids in the back seat.

You think people who have cell phones
and e-mail are uppity.

Posts: 8492
From: Oakfield, WI, USA
Registered: MAR 2002

Posts: 286
From: Huntsville, Alabama, USA
Registered: MAR 2004

Posts: 4070
From: Greensboro, NC
Registered: JUL 2002

posted 04-15-2004 07:31 AM         

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Your house is mobile and your pick-up isn't.

-or-

Your house is on wheels and your pick-up is on blocks.

-or-

Your favorite nimbers are 3 and 8.

-or-

Tobacco juice stains down the side of your pick-up are mistaken for brown flames.

-or-

For Mother's Day you git your Mama a carton of Camel nons.

-or-

At the Monster Truck show, you know 90% of those attending and the number of their toes and fingers is higher than the number of their teeth.

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