posted 01-26-2004 05:23 PM         

"How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks one of the Yankees.

"Watch and learn," answers one of the men from the South.

They all board the train. The three Yankee men take their respective seats but all three Southerners cram into a toilet together and close the door. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket, please."

The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The Yankees see this happen and agree it was quite a clever idea, so after the game they decide to do the same thing on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station they buy a single ticket for the return trip, but see, to their astonishment, that the three Southerners don't buy any ticket at all.

"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed Yankee.

"Watch and learn," answers the men from the South.

When they board the train the three Northerners cram themselves into a toilet and the three Southerners cram into another toilet just down the way. Shortly after the train is on its way, one of the Southerners leaves their toilet and walks over to the toilet in which the Yankees are hiding. The Southerner knocks on their door and says, "Ticket, please."

posted 01-26-2004 05:31 PM         

As a Southerner myself, that one is easy. We all know when the US defeats an enemy from any war, we rebuild their economy, their infrastructure, and their way of life to pattern after our own. We then get to complain, because we have to compete with our own doing. I've been secretly trying to get West Virginia to declare war on the U.S. for years, give up after a few days, and have the government rebuild the state. Unfortunately, the war making machine in W.Va. needs something more than food stamps!

posted 01-26-2004 05:59 PM         

quote:

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Originally posted by MeanGene:
I've been secretly trying to get West Virginia to declare war on the U.S. for years, give up after a few days, and have the government rebuild the state.

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posted 01-26-2004 06:18 PM         

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The Mouse That Roared tells the story of the fictional European principality of Grand Fenwick. Finding itself on the wrong end of a trade dispute with the United States, and noting America's generosity in rebuilding the countries it had fought in World War II, Grand Fenwick's rulers hit upon the idea of declaring war on the U.S., losing, and then reaping a Marshall Plan-style handout. The plan, proposed by Grand Fenwick's prime minister (played by Peter Sellers), is approved by the monarch (also played by Peter Sellers), who dispatches an invasion force under the command of Grand Fenwick's hapless Field Marshal (also played by Peter Sellers). Due to a series of happenstances and misunderstandings, however, Grand Fenwick's plan goes terribly wrong.
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