posted 01-25-2004 06:19 AM         

Top Eight Morons of 2003

WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?

AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months,
saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received
a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not
Walter who's lacking intelligence.

WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:

Police in Oakland, California spent two hours
attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded
himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas
canisters, officers discovered that the man was
standing beside them in the police line, shouting,
"Please come out and give yourself up."

WHAT WAS PLAN B???

An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnaped a
motorist and forced him to drive to two different
automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper
proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank
accounts.

THE GETAWAY!

A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and
asked for all the money in the cash drawer.
Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the
store clerk and worked the counter himself for
three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

DID I SAY THAT???

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery
suspect who just couldn't control himself during a
lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup
to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll
shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

ARE WE COMMUNICATING??

A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is
pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes
apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked.
"No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!

In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was
arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America
branch
without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to
simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep
his hand in his pocket.(hellllllooooooo!)

THE GRAND FINALE (I LOVE THIS ONE!!!)

Last summer,
down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an
hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new
to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard
they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft
boat going.

It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no
matter how much power was applied. After about an hour
of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby
marina, thinking someone there could tell them what
was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed
everything in perfect working condition. The engine
ran fine, the out drive went up and down, and the
propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of
the marina guys jumped in the water to check
underneath.

He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
NOW REMEMBER... THIS IS TRUE ... Under the boat, still
strapped securely in place, was the trailer.

Obviously, to get the boat into the water, the vehicle would need to back the boat (and trailer) into the water.
So far, believeable.

Then what? Unhitch the boat, drive away, then get in the boat to drive it? Now we are getting into the farfetched area.

First, they would have to raise the trailer off the hitch, then drive away. So it couldn't just be accidental. This takes the accident part out of the equation, by itself.

There are other things wrong with this folklore too.

The tongue of the trailer typically sticks out quite a bit in front. This would make the front of the boat nose down quite a bit. The post where the winch is, in alot of cases, taller then the bow section of the boat. They wouldn't notice or question this?

Some folks, don't tie down the back end of the trailer (we never did) so the trailer would just drop down here.

If you know anything about boats and trailers, you know there are a whole host of other things that make this almost impossible to do unless intentionally done.

posted 01-25-2004 08:29 AM         

quote:

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Originally posted by Bob Miller:
The thing I find frightening is that all of these "morons" are MEN!

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No, the first time I heard the one about the boat, it was a "blonde" joke.

-GRROWL

posted 01-25-2004 10:11 AM         

quote:

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Originally posted by Bob Miller:
The thing I find frightening is that all of these "morons" are MEN!

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quote:

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Originally posted by Bcoffman Gray Ghost:
So the only ones left to make fun of are MEN. Our modern society.

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Partially correct. Only white middle age men are acceptable to make fun of these days it seems. Everyone else is tooooo sensitive.......

posted 01-25-2004 12:52 PM         

the Boat deal is way toooooooo funny

thanks BGG

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