posted 01-23-2004 10:28 AM         

The driver says, "'Bout what?"

_____

Two Mississippians are walking toward each other, and one is carrying a
sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, whatcha got in th' bag?"

"Jes' some chickens." "If I guesses how many they is, kin I have one?"

"Shoot, if ya guesses right, I'll give you both of 'em!"

"OK. Ummmmm...five?"

_____

An Alabamian came home and found his house on fire. He rushed next door,
telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here - muh house is
on fahr!"

"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"

"Shucks, don't you fellers still have those big red trucks?"

_____

Q: Why do folks in Kentucky go to R-rated movies in groups of 18 or more?
A: Because they heard 17 and under aren't admitted.

_____

Ida Mae passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911-operator told Bubba that
she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?" asked the
operator.

Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."

The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"

After a long pause, Bubba said, "How 'bout I drag her over to Oak Street and
you pick her up there?"

_____

Q: Do you know why they raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32?
A: They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

Q: What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi?
A: Documentaries

_____

Q: Where was the toothbrush invented?
A: Arkansas. If it were invented anywhere else, it would have been called a
teethbrush.

_____

Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery? The winner gets
$3 a year for a million years.

_____

A new law was recently passed in North Carolina so that when a couple gets
divorced, they're still brother and sister.

_____

Q: What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas and a hurricane in
Florida have in common?
A: No matter what, somebody's fixin' to lose a trailer.

_____

Q: How do you know when you're staying in a Kentucky hotel?
A: When you call the front desk and say "I've got a leak in my sink," the
person at the front desk says, "Go ahead"

posted 01-23-2004 10:58 AM         

thanks for the laughs

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posted 01-23-2004 11:47 AM         

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Current mods: Mopar dual exhaust & front mudflaps; MacMotorsports Air Intake;
Real Rod Air Patrol; Graphics by Balistek Designs; ($8) Chrome grille; Chrome
tire valve-stem covers; Painted rear bumper lettering; Prowler Pro Gears; Synthetic
Oil; Raybestos Ceramic Brake Pads; TGF Door Panel Inserts & Headrest Covers;
SheepskinExpress Sheepskin Seatcovers; Grille Light; Pinstriping by Bo Boring;
Painted Valve Cover; Window Tinting; Windshield Visor Banner; Front Bumper
Removal / Relocation of Front Turn Signal Lights; Real Rod Transmission Cooler
Cover, Sill and Carper Covers, Aero Front Covers and Roadster Rear Pan, rear
bumpers removed; rear mudflaps; painted calipers; Prowler Products by Gary
Drilled Rotors, front and rear; Painted tach; and Jay's Aluminum Billet Center Caps
w/shimmers, Chrome Lugnuts and Chrome Radio Bezel Shimmer, Dash Rings,
Windshield Wiper Arm Removal, Fender Trim and Speaker Replacement.

More 'Pumpkin' photos . . . . . More cars and other stuff

posted 01-23-2004 03:55 PM         

One man was from England, one from France and one from Canada. They got acquainted and started talking about their problems with their wives.

The guy from England began by saying: "I told my wife in no uncertain terms that from now on she would have to do her own cooking. Well - the first day after I told her, I saw nothing. The second day I saw nothing. But on the third day when I came home from work, the table was set, a wonderful dinner was prepared with wine and even dessert."

Then the man from France spoke up: "I sat my wife down and told her, that from now on she would have to do her own shopping, and also do the cleaning. The first day I saw nothing. The second day I saw nothing. But on the third day when I came home, the whole house was spotless, and in the pantry the shelves were filled with groceries.