posted 01-03-2004 08:30 AM         

you have wheelie bars on your front wheel drive car
you drive a 4 door type R
you have "All Speed" emblazoned on your rear hatch right next to your 18.50 dial in
you brag to have nitrous and have a 18.50 dial in
your exhaust system for your 1.2L is bigger than most Pro-stock cars
you spent more money on stickers and stripes than your parents paid for your car
your tach is bigger than your head
you have a shiftlight and your car is an automatic
you refuse to race because it's a "show car"
your only mods are cut factory springs and a 5" chrome exhaust Fart Can
you have more lights on the front of your car than the USS Enterprise
you brag about a turbo kit that never seems to get installed.
your exhaust sounds like a dying Moose in heat
you have stickers that even most Jap's don't get
you have stickers for parts you dont have
you refer to 50hp as the 'big shot'
your car has so much camber it can drive on its side
when you drive by, WWII veterans run for shelter
your exhaust tip diameter is 4 times the inner muffler diameter
you have "Powered by" (Insert name here) on a car made by the engine manufacturer
birds make nests on your spoiler because its taller than the trees
you sell crack for the image...not the money
you will only race if the other guy removes four sparkplugs
you can't race uphill
your bright RED/GREEN $800.00 air filter is bigger than your engine.