posted 05-30-2003 09:43 AM         

To those of us who have children in our lives,
whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces and
nephews, or students... here is something to make
you laugh. Whenever your children are out of
control, you can take comfort from the thought that
even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own
children..

After creating heaven and earth,

God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he
said was, "Don't."
"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit," God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey
Eve... we have forbidden fruit!"
"No way!"
"Way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.

"Why?"

"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God
replied, (wondering why he hadn't stopped creation
after making the elephants).
>
A few minutes later, God saw his children having an
apple break and was he ticked! "Didn't I tell you
not to eat the fruit?" God, as our first parent,
asked?

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?" said the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it!" Adam said.

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"DID NOT!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment
was that Adam and Eve should have children of their
own. Thus, the pattern was set and it has never
changed! But there is
reassurance in this story. If you have persistently
and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they
haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God
had trouble raising children, what made you think it
would be a piece of cake for you?

Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and
you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin
bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from
children."

You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching
them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16
telling them to sit down and shut-up.

Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your
children.

Cleaning your house while your kids are still
growing is like shoveling the driveway before it has
stopped snowing.

Mothers of teens know why animals eat their young.

I asked Mom if I was a gifted child... she said they
certainly wouldn't have paid for me.

The main purpose of holding children's parties is to
remind yourself that there are children more awful
than your own.

We child proofed our home 3 years ago and they're
still getting in!

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing
home.

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Current mods: Mopar dual exhaust & front mudflaps; MacMotorsports Air Intake;
Real Rod Air Patrol; Graphics by Balistek Designs; ($8) Chrome grille; Chrome
tire valve-stem covers; Painted rear bumper lettering; Prowler Pro Gears; Synthetic
Oil; Raybestos Ceramic Brake Pads; TGF Door Panel Inserts & Headrest Covers;
SheepskinExpress Sheepskin Seatcovers; Grille Light; Pinstriping by Bo Boring;
Painted Valve Cover; Window Tinting; Windshield Visor Banner; Front Bumper
Removal / Relocation of Front Turn Signal Lights; Real Rod Transmission Cooler
Cover, Sill and Carper Covers, Aero Front Covers and Roadster Rear Pan, rear
bumpers removed; rear mudflaps; painted calipers; and Prowler Products by Gary
Drilled Rotors, front and rear.

More 'Pumpkin' photos . . . . . More cars and other stuff

posted 05-31-2003 09:47 AM         

quote:

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Originally posted by ALLEY CAT:
Norm and Pat - Thanks,,,,good reading

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