posted 02-07-2006 09:02 AM         

About 2 years ago my wife and I were on a cruise through the westernMediterraneanaboard a Princess liner. At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the maindining room. I also noticed that all the staff, shipsofficers, waiters, busboys, etc., all seemed veryfamiliar with this lady.  I asked our waiter who the lady was, expecting to betold that she owned the line,but he said he only knewthat she had been on board for the last four cruises,back-to-back.

As we left the dining room one evening I caught hereye and stopped to say hello. We chatted and I said, "I understand you've been on this ship for the last four cruises". She replied, "Yes, that's true." Istated, "I don't understand" and she replied, withouta pause, "It's cheaper than a nursing home".

So, there will be no nursing home in my future. When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a PrincessCruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations on a Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:

1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.

2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service(which means I can have breakfast-in-bed every day of the week).

3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, aworkout room, free washers and dryers, and shows everynight.

4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.

5. They will even treat you like a customer, not apatient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.

7. T.V. broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to havethe mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience.

8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.

9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare; if you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

Now hold on for the best: Do you want to seeSouth America, thePanama Canal,Tahiti,Australia,NewZealand,Asia, or name where you want to go?

Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship. 

PS: And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side -- at no charge.