posted 12-27-2005 08:19 AM         

New rings have been discovered circling Uranus, 13 is the new number.

A new element on the periodic chart has been discovered,
NEW ELEMENT FOUND! GOVERNMENTIUM.

The recent hurricanes and skyrocketing oil and gasoline prices helped to prove the existence of a new element. In early October 2005, a Major research institution announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium."

Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy

neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic

mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called

'morons' which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like

particles called 'peons.'

Since Gv has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A

minute amount of Gv causes one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second!

Gv has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay; but instead

undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant

neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's

mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming 'isodopes.' This characteristic of moron promotion leads most scientists to believe that Gv is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as 'Critical Morass.'

When catalyzed with money, Gv becomes "Administratium' (Am) – an element which radiates just as much energy as Gv, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

posted 12-27-2005 10:55 AM         

Reminds me of something I heard years ago. What do the Starship Enterprise and the role of toilet paper have in common? Both can be found around Uranus wiping out Klingons.