Author	Topic:   If I Were Santa....(For You Ladies)
Bcoffman Gray Ghost Prowler Junkie Posts: 2418 From: Marshall,Mo.65340 Registered: DEC 2002	posted 12-23-2005 01:30 PM          > If I was old Santa, you know what I'd do? > I'd dump silly gifts that are given to you, > And deliver some things just inside your front door. > Things you have lost, but treasured before. > > I'd give you back all your maidenly vigor, > and to go along with it, a neat tiny figure. > Then restore the old color that once graced your hair, > before rinses and bleaches took residence there. > > I'd bring back the shape with which you were gifted, > so things now suspended need not be uplifted. > I'd draw in your tummy and smooth down your back, > Till you'd be a dream in those tight fitting slacks. > > I'd remove all your wrinkles and leave only one chin, > So you wouldn't spend hours rubbing grease on your skin. > You'd never have flashes or queer dizzy spells, > and you wouldn't hear noises like ringing of bells. > > No sore aching feet and no corns on your toes, > no searching for spectacles when they're right on your nose. > Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fanny, > from a doctor who thinks you're a nervous old granny. > > You'd never have a headache, so no pills would you take > and no heating pad needed since your muscles won't ache. > Yes, if I were Santa, you'd never look stupid, > You'd be a cute little chick with the romance of a cupid. > > I'd give a lift to your heart when those wolves start to whistle, > and the joys of your heart would be light as a thistle. > But alas! I'm not Santa. I'm simply just me... > the matron of matrons you ever did see. > > I wish I could tell you all the symptoms I've got, > But I'm due at my doctor's for an estrogen shot. > Even though we've grown older this wish is sincere -- > > MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!
pumpkin Prowler Junkie Posts: 7907 From: Las Cruces, NM, USA Registered: DEC 2001	posted 12-23-2005 05:25 PM          Very nice

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