posted 10-27-2005 01:10 PM         

This hurricane mess and gasoline issues are proof that it exists. A major
research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest
element yet known to science. The new element has been named
"Governmentium".

Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy
neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of
312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which
are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over
four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but
instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.