posted 10-07-2005 01:30 PM         

2. NASA recently sent a number of Holsteins into orbit for experimental
purposes. They called it the herd shot round the world.

3. Two boll weevils grew up in S. Carolina. One took off to Hollywood
and became a rich star. The other stayed in Carolina and never
amounted to much--and naturally became known as the lesser of two
weevils.

4. Two Eskimos in a kayak were chilly, so they started a fire, which
sank the craft, proving the old adage you can't have your kayak and
heat it too.

5. A 3-legged dog walks into an old west saloon, slides up to the bar
and announces, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.

6. Did you hear about the Buddhist who went to the dentist and refused
to take Novocain? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

7. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and met in
the lobby where they were discussing their recent victories in chess
tournaments. The hotel manager came out of the office after an hour,
and asked them to disperse. He couldn't stand chess nuts boasting
in an open foyer.

8. A woman has identical twins, gives them up for adoption. One goes to
an Egyptian family and is named "Ahmal" The other is sent to a Spanish
family and is named "Juan". Years later, Juan sends his birth mother a
picture of himself. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her
husband she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. He replies, "They're
twins for Pete's sake!! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal!!

9. A group of friars opened a florist shop to help with their belfry
payments. Everyone liked to buy flowers from the Men of God, so their
business flourished. A rival florist became upset that his business
was suffering because people felt compelled to buy from the Friars, so
he asked the Friars to cut back hours or close down. The Friars refused.
So the florist then hired Hugh McTaggert, the biggest meanest thug in
town. He went to the Friars' shop, beat them up, destroyed their
flowers, trashed their shop, and said that if they didn't close,
he'd be back. Totally terrified, the Friars closed up shop and hid in
their rooms. This proved that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist
friars.

10. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot his whole life, which
created an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
little, which made him frail, and with his odd diet, he suffered from
very bad breath. This made him.... what? (This is so bad
it's good...) -- A super-callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

11. And finally, there was a person who sent 10 puns to some friends
in hopes at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did!