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ponderisms - these are great!
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ProwlerOnline, Plymouth/Chrysler Prowler Discussion Forum
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ponderisms - these are great!
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This topic was originally posted in this forum: Tires, Rims Discusssion |
| Author | Topic: ponderisms - these are great! |
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mysticspot Prowler Junkie Posts: 171 |
posted 06-30-2005 11:05 AM
Ponderisms > > > > > > > > > > > >I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. > > > >Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant. > > > >The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. > > > >Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. > > > >There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead. > > > >Life is sexually transmitted. > > > >Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. > > > >The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. > > > >Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. > > > >Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to? > > > >Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. > > > >All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. > > > >In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. > > > >Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. > > > >How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? > > > >Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" > > > >Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt." > > > >If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? > > > >Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? > > > >Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? > > > >Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! > > > >If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? > > > >If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? > > > >If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? > > > >If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? > > > >Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? > > > >Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? > > > >Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? > > > >Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? > > > >Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? |
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Lone Ranger Prowler Junkie Posts: 2120 |
posted 06-30-2005 02:52 PM
Those were great! |
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jmcant1 Prowler Junkie Posts: 1037 |
posted 07-01-2005 02:56 PM
the chicken and cow one remind me of one of my own ponderisms... saurkraut (sp?)... who decided to bury a perfectly good head of cabbage, dig it up later, and then eat it? |
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