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Author Topic:   Language (or severe distortions thereof) . . . . .
pumpkin
Prowler Junkie

Posts: 7907
From: Las Cruces, NM, USA
Registered: DEC 2001

posted 05-06-2005 12:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pumpkin     
FOR THOSE WHO ENJOY LANGUAGE
(OR SEVERE DISTORTIONS THEREOF)

  • Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine

  • A backward poet writes inverse.

  • A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

  • Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

  • Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

  • Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

  • A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

  • A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

  • Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

  • Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

  • Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

  • Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

  • When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

  • A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

  • What's the definition of a will?  (It's a dead giveaway.)

  • Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like a banana.

  • In democracy your vote counts.  In feudalism your count votes.

  • A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

  • If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

  • With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

  • When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

  • The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

  • You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

  • Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

  • He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

  • Every calendar's days are numbered.

  • A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.

  • A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

  • He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

  • A plateau is a high form of flattery.

  • Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

  • Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

  • Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

  • Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

  • Acupuncture is a jab well done.


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